Category: LGBTQ

Stronger Together

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome, Coworkers, LGBTQ

(It is November 11th, 2016. I’m openly lesbian, and don’t “pass” for straight due to my unique hair and androgynous dress. Unfortunately, there’s a huge rise in hate crimes after the election, and I have been shoved, called names, and had my car vandalized so far. Even though I am just starting out as a lawyer, I can’t stop these things happening. I am talking about the hate crimes issue with a colleague.)

Me: “…so there’s been a lot more anti-minority and anti-gay harassment lately. People feel emboldened, you know? So do you think you could walk me out of work today?”

(Colleague #2, who is a new immigrant from a conservative south Asian country, stops after walking by and hearing this. He smiles.)

Colleague #2: “Do you know what I would do? I would… tell them ‘oh, you’re harassing this gay person? Would you perhaps now like to meet my .38 special?’”

Colleague #1: *describing himself* “Or do you want a six foot six Norwegian carrying a bat?”

(I knew they were joking, but it meant a lot that two very different people felt so strongly about protecting me!)

Scared You Will Come To Bows

| CA, USA | Awesome, LGBTQ, Students

(I am a student teacher working in an American and Contemporary Literature class with eleventh and twelfth graders. While I am biologically female, I identify as genderfluid and dress in a very masculine fashion. As a result, my attire occasionally includes bowties. We are at the computer lab working on research papers when a student of mine – a star athlete at the school – calls me over.)

Me: “What’s up, [Student]?”

Student: “So, I notice that sometimes you wear bowties.”

Me: “That I do.”

Student: “I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to tie a bowtie.”

(I find this to be very sweet, but I also can’t help chuckling.)

Me: “I actually have a confession to make: I don’t know how to tie a bowtie, either. Almost all of my bowties are pre-tied or clip-on.”

Student: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yeah. You wanna know the funny part, though? My fiancée can tie bowties, and she doesn’t even wear them.”

Student: “No way. So she ties them for you?”

Me: “Yep! I mean, I only own a couple of bowties that I need tied, anyway. Like I said, the rest are clip-on.” *jokingly* “Sorry that I’m kind of a phony when it comes to that!”

(My student and I both laughed before he went back to work. Sometimes I feel like teenagers are more accepting and tolerant of others’ appearances than adults are!)

Coming Out To Everyone


(I have just come out to my mom and am about to come out to my friend Mira via text. Turns out I got the wrong number and the following conversation happens.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name].”

Person: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yep! So I’ve been thinking a lot and decided to come out. I’m bi!

(Ten minutes later.)

Me: “Mira?”

Person: “Sorry, but this isn’t Mira. I believe you have the wrong number. But I am SO proud of you for coming out! Honestly, it’s probably one of the hardest things to do, but I am SO proud. And you may never know me, but I more than 100% support you! It’s not going to be easy, girly, but I know you are strong enough to be able to go through this. Remember, when life gets tough, just know, you are tougher than that! Always remember who you are darling, even when others doubt you and tell you that you must have ‘mistaken’ or you’re at a ‘stage,’ you know yourself best. Listen to your heart! I support you 100%! And sorry for not telling you that you got the wrong number right away. You might be angry because you just texted a total stranger about something that is quite personal to you. Sorry again about that.”

Me: “Oh, my god, thank you so much. That gave me so much confidence! I feel a lot better about the whole thing!”

(Needless to say that person shed light on my day. And yes, I did come out to my friend and she was super supportive. Person, wherever you are, thank you.)

Legally Wed With Nothing To Dread

| MN, USA | Family & Kids, LGBTQ

(I have come out as a lesbian at age 20, and married a short three years later, when same-sex marriage is legal in my state, but not federally. Through all of this, my best friend from childhood has supported me; I am close with her family as well, but didn’t tell them, since they’re first-generation immigrants and very religious. I am talking with my friend about my honeymoon; my wife and I had a courthouse wedding just after legalization and so there was no ceremony.)

Me: “So anyway, we’ll be near you for the honeymoon trip, if you want to meet us for a quick lunch or something!”

Friend: “I’d love to, but you know I’m still living with my parents and they don’t want me to drive that far and go to [Major City] alone all day. You know how they are. But my mom is semi-retired and she would be happy to go with me!”

Me: “Okay, but meet us by yourself, okay? I mean, your mom doesn’t know about me and I don’t want it to be weird!”

Friend: “Haha. No, it won’t be weird. I told my family you were gay ages ago!”

Me: “…and?”

Friend: “No big deal at all! My family seems to think that, um, you’re still a good person, and at least you’re getting married instead of clubbing or hooking up! Now, let’s check our schedules!”

(Meeting my friend didn’t end up working out, but when my wife and I got home, there was a huge package by our door. Curious, I open it and read the note.)

Note: “[Friend] told me how your wife loves to cook, and you don’t have much house stuff since you’re young. So I hope you enjoy these. [Friend] and I wanted to go in on a nice gift! These are better for you than that nonstick cookware!”

(It was signed by my friend’s mother. I think I worried for no reason!)

Sister, Sister

| Toronto, ON, Canada | LGBTQ, Popular

(Recently one of my children came out to me and my husband as transgender. She was afraid to tell her siblings about it, thinking they would be judgmental and negative. After reassuring her of our love and support, we eventually decide to talk to them about it. Her two younger siblings (13 and 11 years old, respectively) responded this way:)

Sister: “[Sister], I love you and support you no matter what.” *gives her a hug*

Brother: *enthusiastically* “So now I have TWO sisters!”

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